Fighting "It"

I just had an arguement with someone I care for because I felt that she was not fighting "it". In the end, I ended up wondering if I myself am doing so! I guess not...I refuse to think about it...I refuse to discuss it (even with my mom who, I know, really wants to know whats going in my mind). Am I truly fighting it?

If I were, I would not be drowning myself in those tall and slim glasses of bubbly. If I were, I would be able to listen to my favourite ghazals without shedding tears. If I were, I would be willing to answer, truthfully, to the questions I am so scared to. I guess I am not fighting it...I am hoping that if I close my eyes long enough, I will wake up and realise that it was just a nightmare!

But I know that its not a nightmare, I know that nothing will be same again, I know when I open my eyes...it will be a different world and I am not still not fighting it! May be its one of those times when you realise what it means to be the proverbial sparrow who shuts its eyes on seeing a cat.