When do we know its time to cut our losses and move on? How do we realize that its going to be more painful to stay in a relationship than moving on? What makes us see that the career/job we spent years in is actually not making us happy?
And when this realization does dawn upon us that its just fear that's keeping us in a job or relationship or lifestyle, how do we know for sure that this is true enlightenment and not just another emotion that's making us run away from what/who we probably love?
I am at that stage in my life where I have been pondering on these questions for sometime now and while I may have not found answers to any of these above, I have realized something during the thinking process. If something or someone makes you truly happy, you will never ask such questions to your self. The very fact that these questions come up is because there is something that, at a very basic level, needs to be changed.
Now that change may mean just an alteration or it may mean a total paradigm shift. And that's something which is not easy to determine. One could argue that if we know where we are in the Maslow's hierarchy of needs, it would, at the very least, help determine where we want to go next. But it is not that easy.
For instance, how to determine the amount of savings you need before you can take a sabbatical? I believe I could have taken one 2 years back but I didn't feel secure enough at that time. And today I am seriously considering one. I don't believe my savings have gone up dramatically in last 2 years, in fact my spend surely has (have been travelling a lot) - so what has changed now?
What has changed is that I have finally realized that there is probably never a right time to make any big changes in your life especially if the change implies leaving or losing something /someone. We all like to hoard - clothes, money, relationships...you name it...and even if something is causing us discomfort we still like to hang on to it. So I need to work on giving up this habit of hoarding...focus on what's truly needed and I am sure that is when I will be truly happy!
And when this realization does dawn upon us that its just fear that's keeping us in a job or relationship or lifestyle, how do we know for sure that this is true enlightenment and not just another emotion that's making us run away from what/who we probably love?
I am at that stage in my life where I have been pondering on these questions for sometime now and while I may have not found answers to any of these above, I have realized something during the thinking process. If something or someone makes you truly happy, you will never ask such questions to your self. The very fact that these questions come up is because there is something that, at a very basic level, needs to be changed.
Now that change may mean just an alteration or it may mean a total paradigm shift. And that's something which is not easy to determine. One could argue that if we know where we are in the Maslow's hierarchy of needs, it would, at the very least, help determine where we want to go next. But it is not that easy.
For instance, how to determine the amount of savings you need before you can take a sabbatical? I believe I could have taken one 2 years back but I didn't feel secure enough at that time. And today I am seriously considering one. I don't believe my savings have gone up dramatically in last 2 years, in fact my spend surely has (have been travelling a lot) - so what has changed now?
What has changed is that I have finally realized that there is probably never a right time to make any big changes in your life especially if the change implies leaving or losing something /someone. We all like to hoard - clothes, money, relationships...you name it...and even if something is causing us discomfort we still like to hang on to it. So I need to work on giving up this habit of hoarding...focus on what's truly needed and I am sure that is when I will be truly happy!
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